07/18/26 || 12:36am
so i have a "blog" now... that's interesting. how am i meant to use this? i suppose i'll just talk about what i'm feeling.
flavor foley released a new single today. it's called streetcat, and it's got me feeling a little strange. do you ever have a song that really captures your soul and feels like it was made just for you? like, right in that moment, right where you are, it's exactly what you needed to hear... it fills you up and holds you and shows you things you never realised were there. flavor foley does that for me a lot. the most recent batch of songs, after cardiac contrepoint, have all been themed around identity and finding the self and living as you want to, so it's probably just the fact i'm figuring out what those things look like for me, but it's odd that it keeps happening with such pinpoint accuracy to my current emotional state. the specifics are something i probably shouldn't put out into public so freely, but rest assured it's a good song. you could probably figure out what i mean and where i'm at just by listening to it anyway.
let's see, what else... i've been trying to make music again, and it's very difficult to get back into the groove. school burnt me the hell out, and i already have some adequacy problems in my head and my heart, so you can imagine it's pretty taxing to push through and restart the train. i'm falling back on my old faithful habit of stealing chord progressions and letting my head spin them into new ideas, which has never really steered me wrong, but right now i'm feeling pretty unsatisfied with my instrumentation skills. i wanna move past midi into actual production, but i don't really know how or where to start, and it's very intimidating. part of having a jukebox for a brain means that i know exactly what i want something to sound like, but there's just no way to make that happen as i am. it sucks! i wonder what i could do to fix it, but at least my current wip sounds pretty good in SGM piano.
also, i've been kicking around other ideas like for games and characters and stuff. my friend kiri and i have been doing a cute little swap au of our characters, which is something i don't do very often. it's fun to play out and see what happens, maybe i'll release some information about it, or the original world... it's super fun and i think she deserves more eyes on her amazing worldbuilding. you can find her here. on my own, i've been doing some... r&d, i guess? i've been really into playing the battle cats again recently, but i think there's some ways i could try and innovate on the formula, or at least do something a little different. so i've been analysing the decisions ponos made and the structure of the game, things like that... executing on this would require me to learn to program though, and my track record for that isn't great, so don't expect much. still, it's fun to dream...
final thing... i really hope this website can be a place to show off all my cool stuff, and maybe these little check-ins can endear people to my pathetic charm and make them want to buy my music or look at my art or pay attention to me. i feel a little strange saying it out loud, but i do like having attention and eyes on my work and my thoughts. not that i think i have particularly more value than the average person in my position, but i don't think i have to explain how nice it feels to be cared about. i'm very lucky for the people i have that do care about me. i hope to make them proud.
